The Baby has been busy sprouting teeth for the last…forever which got me thinking about the tooth fairy and a funny story a first time mum told me.
The day before I’d had a really cruddy day at work, had a little too much wine and watched too much TV . I really wasn’t in the mood when a whiny voice woke me up at 6 am.
‘Mum? Mum, the Tooth Fairy didn’t come and get my tooth.’ Cue heart crushingly disappointed expression complete with wobbly lip.
Sh@#!
I thought fast. Much faster than should be expected with a mild hangover and no caffeine pumping through my veins.
‘You’re so lucky!’ I announced earning myself a look of well deserved confusion. ‘You must have gotten a trainee Tooth Fairy.’
Where is she going with this? Both I and my daughter wondered.
‘W-what?’ semi-sobbed my daughter.
‘A trainee Tooth Fairy! A Tooth Fairy that isn’t fully qualified yet! Those are really special and rare.’
‘Huh?’
‘Sometimes people who are just learning their jobs make mistakes.’ Like mums. ‘But when she realizes I bet she’ll feel really bad and make up for it.’
Clouds lift and the sunshine nervously begins to trickle through. ‘Really?’
‘Definitely. Now go and get some breakfast.’
As soon as I heard her feet hit the stairs I flew to the computer, tapping my foot and gnawing on my nails as it booted up. I quickly pounded out a message on Word using the column feature.
‘Dear Lucy, I’m so sorry I got confused reading my magic map and went to the wrong house last night. Then a big dog tried to eat me and I had to hide in a wine bottle until he fell asleep. This is my first night being a Tooth Fairy- it’s a hard job! Anyway, thank you for the tooth. I left a little something extra to say sorry for the mix up, love from Tina the Tooth Fairy’
A couple of clicks and I changed the font to a handwriting style and shrunk it to font size 4. As the smell of burnt toast reached my nostrils I was cutting out the world’s tiniest note. A quick glance at the stairs and I lunged for her room. My heart was loud enough for her to hear downstairs as I slipped the note and 5 pounds under her pillow. Objective achieved I walked calmly back into my room to take a shower.
A little while later I heard shrieks coming from her bedroom. Childhood saved.
Motherhood- flying by the seat of your pants every step of the way.
The mum who told me this story was a Pinteresting-type mum. The alternative method for dealing with forgotten tooth fairies is to tell the kid they didn’t look hard enough and, upon helping them, ‘discover’ the treat yourself. This is what happened in my house. Every.single time. Because wine.
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