I have large breasts. Well, for accuracy’s sake perhaps I should say I used to have large breasts. After they were sucked dry by breast pumps for five months they could now be better described as long breasts.
Being well endowed in the breast department comes with many issues, as any large chested woman will attest. Here are some of my daily issues, for your enjoyment.
1. Bra Shopping.
I am not an avid fan of shopping in most scenarios but bra shopping is actually traumatic for me. I stare, overwhelmed at the endless racks upon racks of cute, feminine, girly, tiny bras and optimistically check the sizes. After 20 minutes I admit defeat and ask for help finding my size, at which point I am quickly shuffled to the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder section, where bras look more like scaffolding and pretty colours and patterns are replaced by belt-like straps and an option of black, white or beige. The swath of fabric required to manufacture one of these monstrosities is reflected in the price tag. There are usually a maximum of three options available in my size, none of which fit correctly or the same. I am usually found lifting and pushing my deflated breasts into the sides of the cups, trying to convince myself a bra will do and I won’t start pouring out the middle the minute I do something energetic like walk.
2. Clothes Shopping.
You might have noticed I always appear here in a purple t-shirt. That is a true reflection of my limited wardrobe. When I venture into the shops to buy something new and shake things up again I am severely restricted. Tops and dresses which look cute and fitted on small breasted women make me look like I’m either a porn star or attending some kind of Hollywood award. I have a choice between fitted with thick straps and a high neckline or baggy, unless I want to be stopped by strangers on the street and asked ‘how much?’.
3. Weight Gain.
The first place I put on weight is in my bra. If I remember correctly when I was 5 months pregnant I was still wearing my regular shorts but had maxed out of the biggest bras available in Bangkok. I also have long, fairly slim legs, which I’m not complaining about but those in addition to plus sized breasts makes for a rather chicken-like silhouette.
4. Boob Sweat.
No elaboration necessary, I think.
Are you with me, big breasted women? Or are you an A cup-er who’s going to try and convince me how hard you’ve got it?
****If you enjoyed this I’d really appreciate your vote for the MAD Blogging Awards. Just click on the link, add your name and email and select Poop Rainbows in the ‘Baby’ category. Thank you!
[…] I’ve been a bit tired. Not just “having a baby tired” but generally tired. When I almost nodded off in front of OITNB I realized some serious action was needed. The Baby is sleeping pretty well so what else could it be? Possibly the abundance of cake and sweet treats I keep stuffing into my mouth. Possibly. Okay, very likely. The solution? Three weeks of torture. Three week of potential starvation. Three weeks of a grain-free, dairy-free, sugar-free diet. A potential bonus of this could be slipping into a smaller size dress and being able to buy a decent bra. […]
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I’m at the opposite end, except when breastfeeding. I remember once, pre babies, I placed my new tiny purchases on the checkout desk and the lady behind me in the queue put her grander purchase down next to it. It could have doubled as a hammock for newborn twins it seemed so large and well constructed. Thanks for sharing with the #BlogFair.
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‘Grander’ is a nice way to put it. Aha- I might start selling mine as baby hammocks. I think you’re on to something there.
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Quietly gives thanks for M&S. Where bras for all shapes and sizes can be found
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Would you believe that we have a M&S here and even they max out at a DD!
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Hahahaha I get this. Been there, done that, got boob sweat on the t-shirt.
Thanks for linking up to #SundayStars
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Teehee. Ah, boob sweaty t-shirts. Could we be any more attractive?
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HA! I’m glad Trista read your post – she too has the big boob problem. Not being able to buy cute bras and tops would be very annoying. I don’t have this issue personally lol I’m visiting from #AnythingGoes today x
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Very annoying. Yes, I’m jealous of your bra buying opportunities!
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Oh and I am visiting from #AnythingGoes!
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I too have big boob problems as well! If you like you can read about it here http://domesticatedmomster.com/2015/05/12/girlswithbigboobproblems/ I relate to you on every level!
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Cool, off to check it out now 🙂
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I wish. My boobs are still small – but then I only breast fed my twins for 2 weeks so maybe I got off lightly. I have always wanted MASSIVE boobs though, it’s my biggest wish for my body. But you’ve put me off…hurrah for a flat chest! 😉 LOL! Jess xx
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Be careful what you wish for, Jess. It’s mostly badly fitting clothes and too much attention from white van drivers. Glad you’ve seen sense. Well jell of your flat chest!
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Oh I did enjoy this post!!! My boobs fell off completely after baby number 3.
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Maybe 3 babies are the key then. If my boobs fell off that would solve all my problems.
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Too funny and I love the illustrations! Isn’t boob sweat the worst?
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The absolute worst! I’m a constant victim here in Bangkok. Plus butt crack sweat. It’s amazing I’m not beating of suitors with a poopy stick really.
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Lol you crack me up! I used to have big boob problems now I have small shrivelled fruit problems…guess I should be grateful? #anythinggoes
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I’m not sure if grateful is the right term…I prefer my bananas to the watermelons I used to have though.
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Thank you so much for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com
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No problem, thanks for hosting!
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Big Boobs, Baby in Bangkok…100 posts. the similarities keep growing!
Today actually I was putting one of my TWO bras in the wash and fishing out the only other ok one which is actually STILL a nursing bra that I got in Bangkok. The smallest kiddo is almost three! I hate “normal” bra shopping, they never have my size or they were horrid. I then discovered Bravissimo on the web and my size was TOO SMALL!!! I hate bra shopping. I´ve spent three years in Genie Bras and I cant take it anymore!!! Where are the beautiful Wacoals????
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That sucks. I’m big enough for Bravissimo but don’t like the price nor the not trying it on. I’m sure we’re not alone and I wish there was a solution. I feel there’s a fortune to be made if we can figure it out.
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Haha! I’m afraid I am in the small/medium boob department. Expressing and breastfeeding for the last two years have left them in a dire state and I will happily take some of your boobage to plump them out a bit!!
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And I’d happily share but I’m not sure it’d help you much with the plumpness. Mine are like balloons which are still kicking around from a party two weeks ago. Can I interest you in a little more length or droop?
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Mine aren’t massively big but I still always see gorgeous bras in little sizes then when I find them in my size they don’t look half as nice! I’m also so envious of women who can go out without a bra on and it not be obvious! #Sundaystars
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Yes, I have the same problem with clothes. Cute in a size two, less so in a twelve.
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I love this post so much. As a big-ish boobed gal, I can relate to all of your sentiments. I have spent a small fortune on a few beautiful, well-fitting bras. Then I got pregnant, and my breasts changed size forever. But I can’t throw it out, because it’s just too pretty. And too pricey.
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Yes, I have dried my tears on my lovely bikini which cost more than half my wardrobe and now doesn’t fit in any way.
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Ah so true – laughing all the way through this. I haven’t got massive boobs but they are big enough that bras no longer look dainty. And as I am still breastfeeding at 18 months I imagine when Boo finally does stop I am going to tuck them into my socks (or more optimistically the waistband of my trousers! (keep you boobs crossed for me it is the latter!)
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Boobs crossed and tied in a bow for you, mate. I watch watch my ten month old does with his bottle teats and his eight teeth and shudder. Respect to your tatas for going such a distance. I hope they don’t end up in your odd socks x
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I really shouldn’t read your comments whilst eating a peach…I just choked! How funny! Tis true…managed braless on holiday.
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Oops…please don’t sue me. So. very. jealous.
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Ohymygod yes. Especially #4. Add breastfeeding + summer and it’s a complete nightmare.
Unfortunately my weight gain goes straight to my thighs. Which just makes me look a bit Kardashian 😦
#sundaystars x
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Ooo, yes, summer breast feeding boobs sounds…swampy. On the plus side there are loads of women out there who’d love to be compared to a Karashian.
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haha I’m one of those people who can buy the small girly bras and it’s PATHETIC! I have nothing since breast feeding. I was small before but now? OMG! Last year I stopped feeding just as I went on holiday and all the bikinis didn’t fit by about day 3.
On the other hand it must be hard being at the opposite end of the spectrum and struggling to buy bras and clothes. I would very gladly take some off you though to ease the boulder load? xx
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If only I could share the ‘wealth’. But you could decide just to go bra-less without fear of your droppy nipples appearing from under your t-shirt hem. That must be so nice.
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