When I was 12 I got into horror in a big way. I read everything I could get my hands on, starting softly with Goosebumps by RL Stine and progressing to Stephen King a few years later. It never bothered me. I was able to remind myself it wasn’t real and never really got too frightened.
When I was pregnant things began to change. I was previously fairly desensitized to violence. I didn’t particularly enjoy the gruesome special effects but I could stomach them. I have sat through heads being cleaved in half and people been eaten alive with nary a wince. Then, when pregnant I began having to hide behind my hands.
I could no longer sit through anything which involved child abuse or rape and frequently had to ask the Mummy to choose something cheerier.
This week I was particularly distressed by both an episode of Orange is the New Black and Game of Thrones which both contained scenes of violence towards women. I didn’t really think too much about my reaction at the time but it bothered me much more than it would have pre-baby.
Last night the Mommy and I decided to watch Insidious. I used to love watching scary movies in the dark, often laughing as I jumped and really getting a kick out of the fear. Not last night. Last night I almost hit the roof at every jumpy part. The Mummy had to stop holding my hand because I was painfully squeezing the life out of her fingers. More than once she thought about turning it off and more than once I almost let her.
What’s wrong with me? My brother would be appalled. I feel like motherhood flicked some ‘damsel in distress’ gene on in me. Where has my kickbutt, Brianne of Tarth-ness gone? Did anyone else change after having a baby?
We’re watching Insidious 2 tonight because apparently I am a masochist. But please, if things start moving around in my house of their own accord can I come and live with you???
I have never really likes horror films but I used to like more action films but like you now voilonce towards women and children really gets me i just can’t watch it at all! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
LikeLike
I never knew motherhood would bring out the sensitive side of me. Thanks for hosting.
LikeLike
I’m mixed. Some horror I’m fine with in the sense of blood gore and mutilation. Give me anything with built up anticipation then I’m terrified and hide behind a cushion. This is something that has changed since being a parent as I wasn’t like that before. I don’t know if it’s that part of parenting where you’re anxious about if they will do something or watching them doing something and you can’t stop or help. In that sense an utter wuss. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week
LikeLike
I thought maybe it was a hormonal birth mum thing, but I guess not. We can all be wussy parents together then. Thanks for hosting!
LikeLike
I’ve heard of people becoming a lot more sensitive to things involving violence etc to kids after having their own, because they imagine it happening to their kid. The horror movie is a new one on me but after reading your post and having a look through the comments, it looks like quite a common thing. I agree with Sarah – embrace it and use it to get extra cuddles đŸ™‚
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com
LikeLike
I was never particularly brave when it came to watching horror or violence but after having a baby I have even less urge to put myself through the unpleasantness of watching it. I just keep thinking this sort of stuff does happen somewhere in the world, in real life (well, the violence anyway) and it makes me sad that my baby will grow up and learn about it. Maybe I’m thinking too deeply!
LikeLike
No, I understand what you mean. All the dangers seem a lot more possible and even likely since had the baby.
LikeLike
I’ve always been a scardey cat. I remember cowering behind cushions at sleepovers when I was a kid and everyone else wanted to watch nightmare on elm st. Now I’m even worse and can’t stomach violence at all… I had to get hubby to fast forward over that scene in Girl with the Dragon tattoo, and the memory of her walking across the bridge afterwards still haunted me for months after! #sundaystars
LikeLike
I never saw the movie but the book definitely made me feel sick to my stomach. After pregnancy I just want rainbows and butterflies in my entertainment .
LikeLike
Fact: motherhood turns us into big wusses. You are definitely not alone here! #sundaystars
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure I didn’t read about my brain/personality being permanently altered during pregnancy in the books.
LikeLike
Not keen on horror at all, apart from classics like Hammer. But I can’t watch certain things since the Tubblet was born, particularly if they involve children. It like protective instinct switches on in your brain. Love the drawing! Some people slave for hours to achieve that look with hair gel.
Hope you both are enjoying your child-free break!
LikeLike
Ack! #bigfatlinky
LikeLike
I haven’t seen Hammer. Will have to check it out. Oh, this was just an evening after bedtime. The baby holiday is not until next month.
LikeLike
I’m still ok with horror but the waterworks just never stop! John lewis adverts are particularly harrowing for me and today I had a little sniffle in the car when let it go game on- not just because I was hearing it for the 457th time! Motherhood has definitely turned me into a big girls blouse!
LikeLike
I think I’d cry at Let it Go for the other reason but yes, I’m a softy now. There’s a few Upworthy clips about young people helping old folks floating around that made me ugly cry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For me I became more jumpy with age, I think it started around 25-26? I don’t know why I’m such a baby now. Insidious was creepy though and I watched it by myself which didn’t help. We watched some alien movie on Netflix with Keri Russell, I was pretty jumpy during that. I think it’s my fight or flight response is more active, it’s not that I’m afraid, it’s just the anxiety of not knowing what’s going to pop out next makes me hyperaroused.
LikeLike
My mind went somewhere filthy with the ‘hyperaroused’ and now I can’t concentrate. Um…aliens…yeah…
LikeLike
lol yeah that’s my former therapist speak for an active stress response in the body… misleading terminology, not sexy
LikeLike
No, it’s not you, it’s me. Some days I can’t can’t retrieve my mind from the gutter.
LikeLike
Ah! I can completely relate. I have two baby carriers under my bed – one to wear on the front with the little one and one to wear the older one on my back. I tell people it’s because I’m neurotic about getting the girls out of the house if there’s a fire…. I’m lying….. it’s in case a big scary man, in a mask, wielding a knife, after staring through the back door window, breaks in. No I won’t be watching Scary Movie again.
LikeLike
OK….wouldn’t you be dead by the time you’d sorted out both carriers? Better just grab a kid under each arm and run like the clappers, no?
…I mean don’t worry, that’ll never happen (but yes, I have the same fear)
LikeLike
This is just like me!When we first got together hubby and I watched horror films all the time (think it was just an excuse for him to act macho lol) but now I can’t watch anything graphic it makes me cringe and if it’s anything about nastiness to kids I lie in bed awake for hours ‘cos it just haunts me!
LikeLike
Oh very much so. I have had to switch off movies where I thought the child was going to die.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not scared just more tearful! I haven’t got to that part of OITNB but I have never liked any rape scenes/violence towards women so may have to run off at that bit. I can still cope was horror and things like the SAW films. You have just found your inner wuss. I’d embrace and use to it for extra cuddles đŸ™‚ x #bigfatlinky
LikeLike
Haha, OK. Henceforth I shall endeavor to embrace my inner wuss đŸ˜‰ x
LikeLike