30 Excuses for Not Sleeping.

Today we have a guest post from the lovely Yvette over at Big Trouble in Little Nappies. We’ve been having a nightmare with the Baby’s sleeping recently, here’s an insight as to why…

I can see that in theory, when the room temperature is just so, the blinds are drawn and the appropriate gaps between naps have been reached; I should happily nod off.

However, as we are both aware, this often isn’t how it goes down. And you, I am guessing, want to know why.

So – here’s a whole bunch of reasons – pick your favourite.

1. I’m thinking of something funny that happened earlier.
2. I can’t get Baa Baa Black Sheep out of my head.
3. I was drifting off but a slight irregularity in your breathing threw me off kilter.

4. Someone is making a loud shrill sound.

5. I’m counting the ways I’m more important than everyone else.
6. You have a bad singing voice.
7. I thought I needed to sneeze… I didn’t though.

8. I can’t decide what to dream about.
9. You put me down drowsy but awake. Idiot.
10. I can smell onions.
11. The lyrics to this Rock-a-Bye Baby warble are seriously sinister. Nightmare anyone?

12. Your arm is shaking slightly – almost like rocking is in some way uncomfortable?
13. Your desperation is palpable and putting me off.
14. Ditto your irritation which I can sense growing.

15. I’m suspicious that Bear is trying to take over my life.
16. Come to think of it, I’m not entirely trustful of the cot mobile, either.
17. I don’t need winding, but I’m thinking of that huge burp I did earlier – you know the one – and I’d like it recreated please.
18. Your stomach just rumbled.
19. I don’t like the pattern on my sleeping bag.
20. I think I would settle better with Daddy. If I’m already with Daddy, then I would settle better with Mummy.

21. I may need a poo. Wait… false alarm. It was just a big fart.

22. Regarding that tune you sang earlier, how would one actually know they were happy – particularly enough to clap their hands?
23. I’ve heard from a reliable source that sleep is for losers.
24. I’m enjoying your company.

25. There is so much to do in this life, I just want to go out and live it!
26. I’m wondering why you pay all that money for baby yoga when 75% of it is spent feeding or shushing me.
27. I’m wishing I could wag my tail, and also that I had a tail.

28. I’m savouring the moment, you should try it sometime.
29. I’m not actually sure I’m tired. I’ll decide for definite after some more milk, yes?
30. I’ve had so much fun I don’t want the day to end. Or, I’m just being awkward.

Feel better now..? No..? Sheesh… I thought knowledge was power? Well dang and blast it but at least I tried.

 

Thanks for that, Yvette. I’m pretty sure this is what the Baby has been trying to tell me for weeks…if not months, sigh. If you enjoyed this why not head over to Big Trouble in Little Nappies and tell Yvette or follow her on Twitter or Facebook.