I think even the saintliest of crunchy granola mummies and daddies occasionally hit their breaking point and consider throttling their child. The sheer nature of children is to push boundaries and buttons alike. Add that to years sleep deprivation, stress and no holidays from being parents and our patience is often worn a little thin.
Of course, much as we might like to chuck our kids out the window at times, actions like that are generally frowned upon so here are some alternatives to throttling your child which wont land you in a jail cell.
- Get some fresh air. Get away from the blood boiling situation. Go for a walk with your kids or, even better without. Enjoy nature and skip along singing something Julie Andrews would approve of.
- Deploy the electronic babysitter. Allow your cherubs to rot a few brain cells staring slack jawed at the idiot box for 30 minutes. They’d probably lose more brain cells if your clobbered them around the head with said idiot box so really it’s a parenting win.
- Try to see the humor in the situation. This is a tough one but if you can see how ridiculous it is that your child is screaming because they’re tired and you are trying to get them to have a nap, it will quell the murderous urges.
- Calmly share your frustrations with your spouse.
- Breathe deeply and count to ten.
- Avoid situations which might trigger a negative reaction in your child. Like getting dressed. Or bedtime. Or mealtimes.
Easy peasy 😉
What do you do to avoid throttling your children?
love love love number 5. That’s a bumper sticker right there. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
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Haha, thanks. Maybe I should get working on that 🙂
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I love both images for points 4 and 5 but that ‘count to ten’ image is especially hilarious. Humorous post it may be but there’s some very good tips here as well. Especially number 1. #brilliantblogposts
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Thanks 🙂
I am a pretty equal balance of daftness and good ideas myself so I think this post is probably a good reflection of me 🙂
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Hahahaha This should be available to all mums (as a leaflet) and handed out at play groups and the like ….
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I give you permission to be my main distributor, Mama Zen 🙂
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I’ve found #5 to work the best
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Me too, Jeremy. Me too.
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I am SO giving these a go. I actually asked my mum the other day if she ever got to the point where she just wanted to punch me in the face. I felt bad that i was suggesting that’s what i wanted to do, and of course i didn’t, but jeez they don’t half know how to push the buttons! Before I was a mum I thought i had a fair amount of patience. Turns out i was wrong! xx
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Agreed. I work with little kids, some of whom set out to try and annoy me but none with the success of my own!
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It IS ridiculous that they like to cry because they are too tired & you’re putting them to bed. The little weirdos. #fridayfrolics
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Yes, weirdos indeed!
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LOL I laughed out loud at your count to ten image – that’s priceless!!! It’s amazing how babies can really push your buttons but like you said, the simplest things can trigger an outburst! #brilliantblogposts x
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Thanks, course it is fictional. That never happened. Never. x
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Haha! Great post! I think ALL parents feel this at least sometimes so kudos to you for acknowledging that! I used my kids’ kvetching to justify a good pair of wireless earphones that I can pop over my ears when it all gets too much. I’m still there, watching them, but I can choose not to hear the high-pitched grumbling and complaining! It was a win-win too! #brilliantblogposts
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Haha, that’s brilliant. Sometimes kids on mute are the best. I might give that a go.
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I find, in the lowest moments of despair….turn on the radio, in the kitchen, LOUD, and have an impromptu dance off with the kids. Works for me every time to turn all our frowns upside down 🙂 x MMT
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Love that idea. Much better than chucking them out the window- thanks.
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True this. About the only advice I give to new parents is to buy an egg timer. When it all gets too much, put the baby / child somewhere safe, set the timer for 10 minutes and go and do something else. Away from baby / child. Make a cup of tea, breathe deeply. When the egg timer pings 10 minutes later, you’ll be calmer and hopefully so will they. (And, if they’re not, you’re in a better place and more able to deal with it).
Excellent post as when you read many parenting blogs, it’s all fluffy bunnies and endless sunshine. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it’s grim.
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I like that idea. Sometimes you just need to step away for a few minutes.
Oh, I can honestly say we have our stormy, dragon infested moments among all the sunshine and bunnies 🙂
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I act like they act and then they look at me like I lost my damn mind…that’s right children…you look ridiculous!
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Haha, like those adverts of mummies getting down on the floor in supermarkets and pitching a mega tantrum? I love it. Not sure if I’d be brave enough in public though.
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Ah the accuracy! I’m a pretty chill person but there are times I have to tell my wife ” OK you need to take over because I’m about to effing lose my mind!”
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Yes, even the unshakable Mummy has said such things to me in heated moments. Comes with the territory I think.
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Good points. It can be soon hard thiugh, can’t it?I had to show my husband the take him or I’ll kill him drawing so he realises I am not alone in this attitude 😊
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It can. Sooooo hard. I can see the humour after the fact but at the time all I’m seeing is red.
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“Lets play Mario” usually snaps them out of being pillocks for me.The hubby however just hides in the toilet every.bloody.time
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Mine does that too. I could murder him sometimes.
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Haha. I shall bear Mario in mind for future distractions. I’ve tried hiding in the loo. My tot just hammers on the door, screaming.
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“I’m sorry you feel that way.” I’m not apologizing for being the mom, or for disciplining her, but still understanding that she’s angry. Underneath of course, I’m like, “the F did you say?!”
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Haha, nicely handled!
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Laughing is my best defense.
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A lot of really deep, really loud breathing. And hugs, lol. Sometimes very snug hugs, j/k
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Haha, I think at the end there you missed the ‘how not to throttle’ part 🙂
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