Tips to Survive a Relationship

For me being in a proper, grown-up relationship was a steep learning curve. The Mummy and I have been together for four years and married for three. Here are somethings I had to learn quickly to make it work.

1. Sharing a bed.

I can be a bit of a starfish when sleeping. I also toss and turn like an earthquake and am a notorious blanket stealer. I even occasionally accidentally try to smother the Mummy with my pillow when I roll over. Over the years I have tried to learn to roll gently without cocooning myself in the duvet, while being careful to stay on my side and keep my knees and elbows to myself. It’s a working progress.

2. Apologize.

It might be hard to believe but I am not perfect and sometimes behave like a right bi… witch. I have learned identifying a moment of being unreasonable and apologizing is helpful. Luckily the Mummy is a forgiving person otherwise she might have divorced me years ago.

3. Learn your spouse’s bug bears.

We all have things that really get on our wick and not all of those are shared by our spouse. ‘Helpful tips’ or micromanaging while I’m cooking, as I call it, drives me up the wall. Shoes on in the house pushes the Mummy’s stress levels and blood pressure up to breaking point.  Learn not to push these buttons. Quickly.

4. Be grateful.

The Mummy does way too much for the Baby and I. Particularly so when I am incapacitated with my back problems….or an overindulgence in vodka and diet coke. Noticing that your clothes don’t stink, rats haven’t laid siege on the kitchen and there is no longer enough food on the floor to feed a small family, and thanking the person who did all that is a small gesture but it’s something. Thank you, Mummy! The Baby and I would be butt naked and starving to death in a pest infested hovel without you!

5. Be direct.

You might think your message will get through via a combination of hints, looks and passive aggressive comments but in most instances you’d be wrong. Save everyone a massive headache and tell your partner what you need from them, even if it seems ridiculous.

It totally worked. I felt loads better.

6. Pick your battles.

I don’t know about you but the sun doesn’t beam out of my sphincter. As wonderful as the Mummy is she’s not perfect either so some things I’ve learned to accept about her. I think she’s had to accept more about me though. Some things about her will never change, like her weird need to save and store packaging. If you can live with it, let it go. Save the interventions for the things which drive you barmy.

 

So there you have it. My suggestions for a pretty happy home life.

 

What tips do you have to make a relationship work over time?