How Not To Babyproof

I walked into the kitchen the other day to find the Baby gleefully opening and closing one of the sliding drawers. The drawer full of tupperwear? No, of course not. No, he was playing in the drawer where we keep all the big, sharp knifes and other finger removing utensils.

Woops, thought I. Time to up ante on the baby-proofing…again.

So off we trudged to the local cheapo store where we’d heard rumor of affordable baby locks and other goodies. Bearing in mind it took me a week to ‘adapt’ the fan cover we bought there to make it function, I should have known better.

Number of locks purchased and installed: 5

Number of times I couldn’t figure the locks out to get into the cupboard: 4

Number of locks broken in first hour by mummies forgetting they are there: 3

Number of locks still in place and functional: 1

Number of times the Baby has tried to open the locked cupboard since the locks were installed: 0

We’re leaving the impenetrable lock on the poison cupboard because we don’t want the Baby chugging back bleach, I can’t figure out how to open the flaming thing anyway and it gives me an excuse not to clean as I can’t access the chemicals.

The lock on the big knife drawer was the first to break…..He’ll only mess around with huge knives once though, right?

 

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My house is a death trap

Seriously. I never realized before we had a baby but I’m amazed the Baby has made it this far.

For instance before the Baby I never thought twice about the kitchen cleaning cupboard. Now I’m like:

 

When I was pregnant I thought living in a house with only tiles and no carpets would make cleaning up after the baby much easier. Now…

Does an innocent, empty CD rack escape my scrutiny? Nope.

 

 

And the sofa? Previously my favorite, comfy spot to relax. Yup, that’s changed too.

 

 

Don’t even get me started on the blatant hazards like the plug sockets (which in Thailand catch fire more than one would like), the stairs and the brain-crushing sharp edges EVERYWHERE. I’m not joking, someone pass the cotton wool and bubble wrap.

Am I the only one struggling with baby-proofing?

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