Normally I wouldn’t embarrass my extremely white, suburban self by getting involved with rap. One Vanilla Ice type act per lifetime is plenty, in my opinion. But never fear, rap fans, for someone else is visiting to show us how it’s done.
I’m happy to announce our second guest post here on ‘My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows…and other parenting realizations’. Today we welcome Tayla, from Motherhood: The Real Deal with her hilarious take on a toddler rap.
I basically need you to imagine that your toddler is a rapper from the Bronx, else this just ain’t gonna fly.
OK so are you channeling a Bronx rapper? Yes? Good, so let’s do this…
Yo yo listen up, I got something to say, Mummy and Daddy pass the mic my way..
I wanna do it all, and do it good, best nobody messes in my hood!
Putting on my nappy, making my own milk, sticking my finger down the plughole in the kitchen sink
Yeah I don’t care when enough is enough, I’m a badass toddler, and I’m hanging tough!
Hit the boom box mamma – boom bap boom boom boom bap
Tying up my shoes or I’ll scream the house down
Zipping up my coat or watch my smile turn to a frown
Closing the front gate til my hand gets jammed innit
Wiping my own butt because yeah…
Hit the boom box mamma – boom bap boom boom boom bap
Brushing my own teeth, coz who cares if they drop out?
Fastening every fastener, that my badself finds about
Yeah don’t try to mess, or a slap will come your way
Including when we cross the road, or you will pay!
Hit the boom box mamma – boom bap boom boom boom bap
Coz I don’t care if it’s messy, dangerous or rad
Me do it myself because I am bad!
Yeah….Take it to the bridge home mummy and daddy…uh, uh, yeah….
Thanks for that masterpiece, Tayla.
For more toddler related chuckles head over and check out the rest of the ‘Inside the Head of a Toddler’ series here, here and here. You can also follow Tayla on Facebook or Twitter.
If you fancy seeing your words next to my dodgy drawings check out the Guest Posting info.
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